...I began to examine my options.

How could I take a lesser paying job? Hmmm, I wondered as I began crunching numbers. How could I ever take a lesser paying job? Imagine my surprise when I found that, to a great extent, I was working for the luxuries that I deemed to be well-deserved treats because of my job! My occasional coffee habit had become a $300 a month habit. My buying take out dinner because I was too exhausted after work to cook was costing me $400 to $500 per month more than eating at home (and wasn't as healthy.) When I began to figure all of it: the cost of the gas needed to get to work in the nearby County Seat, the maintenance on the car, the work related wardrobe, the travel expenses and on and on I found that I was pocketing very darn little. Still, I had a son, a mortgage, credit cards and other expenses that needed to be paid. So what to do?

Well, first off I refinanced my home, rolling all of the credit card debt on to the mortgage. This saved me an additional $750 per month in credit card payments and interest (plus the mortgage interest was tax deductible.) Fortunately for me this was back in 2004 when interest rates were dropping so I watched for falling rates and when I found them I took advantage of them. I ended up refinancing my home three times (a strategy that many financial advisers might question but one which has worked well for me since my goal was lower monthly payments.) Those changes combined with others allowed me to quit my government job and do contract and free-lance work. Was it all worth it? Well, I got the chance to stay home with my younger son for the last two years of his high school experience, to help him through the rough emotional patches that his father's death caused and to see him grow into a confident and talented young man. So, yeah, I'd say it was definitely worth it. (And if you're doubting it, think back to your fondest memories of your own childhood. What do you remember the most? The times your parents said that you couldn't have something or the times they actually spent time doing things with you? It isn't "stuff" that kids want... it's their parents' attention.)

5. EMBRACE LIFE